A funeral is a time to pay your respects to the deceased, but finding the right words of comfort for friends and family is not easy. Often, your most well-intentioned condolences can come across as awkward and uncomfortable. Although there is no one “correct” way to convey your sympathy, here are a few common phrases you should avoid when attending a funeral or memorial service.

5 Comments to Never Say at a Funeral

1. “They’re in a Better Place”

For the family, the best place their deceased loved one could be is home with them, so mentions of a “better place” or even heaven isn’t very comforting. Additionally, unless you know for certain their religious or spiritual beliefs, you could be committing another faux pas by assuming they share the same belief in the afterlife that you do.

2. “I Know What You’re Going Through”

Every person’s situation and processing of emotions will be unique, and even if you really did experience something similar, it will never truly be the same. This phrase also directs the attention to yourself, instead of the griever. Instead, if they choose to open up to you about their feelings, be a good listener.

3. “Don’t Be Sad” 

Sadness is normal and healthy after a loss, and telling someone to cheer up during a funeral service may make them feel guilty or that they have to hide their true emotions while they’re around other people. This can hinder their grieving process. A better approach is to let them express their feelings openly without judgment from you or others.

4. “At Least…”

People finish this phrase in a variety of ways: “At least you had 25 years together,” “At least you have other children,” or “At least his death was quick” are all variations. These types of statements minimize the impact of the loss. Instead, talk about your fond memories of the deceased and how much they were loved.

5. “You Should Move On”

There is no time limit on grief. Only the mourner can decide when they’re ready to move to another stage of life. To show your support, let them know they can talk to you anytime and count on you to be there when needed.

A funeral is a key time to show your love and support to the friends and family of the deceased. Since 1846, the caring team at Fred D. Knapp & Son Funeral Home in Greenwich, CT, has been dedicated to helping families get through this difficult time by providing services to honor and respect their loved ones. To find out more about arranging a funeral or prepaid funeral plans, call (203) 869-0315 or visit the website.